Praying for the Impossible
by Goodbye Angel
Summary: I wanted so badly to be with someone I could never truly have. I want to be with him forever and ever but it's an impossible wish. We're not the same. We're too far away. It's like praying for rain while I stand in the desert.


**_Praying for the Impossible_**

A Kaname and Yuki one-shot _  
_

_A drop in the ocean,  
A change in the weather,  
I was praying that you and me might end up together.  
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,  
But I'm holding you closer than most,  
'Cause you are my heaven._

I watched him from my post. I wanted so desperately to go over and talk to him. I wanted so badly to leave my post and go over to him. I couldn't now though. I couldn't speak to him like this. I didn't want him to know but I did.

His face filled my every thought. I wanted to be with him more then anyone or anything else. I wanted to tell him my feelings so he would know. I couldn't bring myself to accept the fact that he may not feel the same way. I didn't want to face being turned down by him. I couldn't handle that right now.

_I don't wanna waste the weekend,  
If you don't love me, pretend  
A few more hours, then it's time to go.  
As my train rolls down the East Coast,  
I wonder how you'll keep warm.  
It's too late to cry, too broken to move on.  
_

Accept my feelings please even if you do not feel the same way. Please tell me you love me. I want you to lie to me. Protect me by lying to me. Save me the pain I can see the truth in your eyes.

I knew all along he didn't love me. I knew it better then anyone else but I wanted him to always be there for me. I wanted him to love me like I loved him. I wanted to be his first and only at all times. I wanted nothing more then this. I wanted him to give me a chance but he wouldn't would he.

_And still I can't let you be,  
Most nights I hardly sleep.  
Don't take what you don't need from me._

Why can't you just lie to me? You can be so complicated at times. It feels sometimes like you're hiding something from me. What could it be, I don't understand. Please talk to me. I want to understand your feelings for me, whatever they may be. I don't want you to leave me behind. I do not wish to be the only one who doesn't know.

Do you not trust me? I thought you did? Was that all untrue? No, I don't want to believe that. I can't. You cared about me, didn't you? If only a little you did care, right?

_Its just s drop in the ocean,  
A change in the weather,  
I was praying that you and me might end up together.  
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,  
But I'm holding you closer than most,  
'Cause you are my heaven._

I'm so confused here now. I've been left all alone though you are right here with me. I feel like he's hiding things from me too now. I just wish you both would trust me. Please stop hiding things! I just want to understand. Please don't leave me behind. I can't stand to be left alone. There are so many things I don't remember.

I feel like you know more then you're telling me. Is this true or am I wrong? I'd like to understand the way you think. I'd like to understand how you feel. So please don't leave me alone in the dark. I do not wish to be the last to know.

_Misplaced trust and old friends,  
Never counting regrets,  
By the grace of God, I do not rest at all.  
New England as the leaves change;  
The last excuse that I'll claim,  
I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl._

So I've given up all hope. Maybe you'll tell me one day of these secrets you hold. Things are playing out, they seem to be as you want them too but I just don't understand anymore. What happened? Where did you go for so long? When did you start to keep secrets from me?

I'm sorry if I have upset you. I really didn't mean it. I just lost sight of everything in front of me. Things got so complicated. I wanted to save him; he meant so much to me. He's important to me just like you. Please don't be mad at me anymore.

_And still I can't let you be,  
Most nights I hardly sleep,  
Don't take what you don't need from me._

I stare out the window, the rain falling soundlessly to me. I'm too lost inside to hear anything today. I'm thinking of you again, I hope you know. I'm not lying, but I want to know. I'm sorry for saying good bye. I'm sorry for speaking with you before you left. I hope you're okay, I have a bad feeling.

I pray you'll be back soon because I'm worried and afraid. I miss you so much. Are you thinking of me? Do you even remember me?

_Its just s drop in the ocean,  
A change in the weather,  
I was praying that you and me might end up together.  
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,  
But I'm holding you closer than most,  
'Cause you are my_

I've realized now, you've been gone for so long. I understand now that I was just praying for the impossible to happen. I can not change your feelings. I can not make you love me. Maybe one day you'll feel the way I do and maybe one day I'll be happy with you but now I understand. You wouldn't be happy that way with me.

I want you to smile and be happy honestly. I don't want you to fake it. I'm glad you didn't lie back then. I hope you come back though. I really do miss you. I'm worried too.

_Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore no, no.  
Heaven doesn't seem far away.  
Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore no, no.  
Heaven doesn't seem far away._

You came back, I found out it all. The truth, it doesn't make sense. I was human I thought. When did you start to lie to me? When did this happen? I know it all now; my memories of before so fresh in my mind. You were there that day because you followed me. You wanted to protect me. You're my brother, but how can this be okay. How can I love you knowing it's this way?

I try to act calm, like normal but this doesn't feel right. Everything is wrong. I love you but that's not right. I shouldn't love you the way that I do. We're siblings, I know.

_A drop in the ocean,  
A change in the weather,  
I was praying that you and me might end up together.  
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,  
But I'm holding you closer than most,  
'Cause you are my heaven.  
You are my heaven_

Only now that I know the truth can I accept the fact that my dreams, my hopes, what I prayed for at night…they were all impossible to come true. I wish I never knew the truth. I would still have my hopes, my dreams, and my wishes to look forward to but now I'm so lost. I'm just so confused, what can I look forward to? What's to come, good or bad? Are you hiding anything more from me?

How can I pretend that every things okay, I really don't see how you can just stand there today. You act like this was all meant to be. I wish I had known of this plan before. I don't want this now. This is worse then before. All my hopes, my dreams, and my wishes just gone.

* * *

I have officially decided that I can not listen to music and write. It just doesn't work well for me. This should have taken but a few minutes to write not almost an hour. It was incredibly hard to write this while listening to music which by note I should say is not mine.

Yes, this is a song fiction. Quite a shocker because I usually don't write those nor do I like them in fact. Still, the song is _A Drop in the Ocean_ by Ron Pope. It's a simply amazing song to listen to.

Also note that I have not read all of the manga for _Vampire Knight_. I've read maybe to chapter thirty or so, maybe less. I've never watched the anime so I don't know much of anything about that. This fiction was inspired by a few music videos I have seen on YouTube recently. I finally came across said song and had to write this. I thought it fit Yuki and Kaname quite nicely.

Yes, even I know that Yuki and Kaname are brother and sister. In closing, I hope all of you enjoyed this more then I did. Thank you for reading, reviews are appriciated.


End file.
